Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
