i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
