This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
