the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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