Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dear god my vagina.
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