Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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