good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
