now i know why i became what i already was.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
