i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
