i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And then my night got REAL pukey
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
