I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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