i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
