Already got asked if we're dating
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
