i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize