look no pants
North Korea, Best Korea!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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