I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
