I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
