Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Randomize
