At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
