Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
