hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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