it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
