Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
