She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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