Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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