And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
