stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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