It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
