Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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