bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
