I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
