omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize