don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
