Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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