Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
