ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
