What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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