the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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