I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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