I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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