he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
