Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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