She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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