He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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