it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
