He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize