what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
