Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
