I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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