Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We had sex on a dog bed..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
