the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
