if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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