Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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