you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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