i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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