and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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