She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
