u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
