Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
