I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
