Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
