i barfeds in our rink
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
do herpes really smell.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No subtext here. People are naked.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
