I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
