Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
