I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize