i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
