Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
